A Memory's Promise

A Memory's Promise

What can I say? I'm like a fool stuck in a broken record. I've written this over and over again, and I can never seem to find the right words to say, or even figure out exactly who I'm writing for. As I write this mess of words, a pile of paper is growing at my side, and I think even Demyx is getting suspicious about what I'm doing. I guess it's just because I'm beyond confused and irritated that I can't even think straight. Then I remember I'm ranked even lower than those Heartless out there, so I know not even supposed feel, and everything that I thought I've felt was just an illusion. I admit that. But I guess when you've spent so many days running from something you can never escape from, matters irrelevant from the constant, tiring escapes that fail don't seem to be important anymore.

And that's why I'm writing this letter. I'm just hopeful that someone could find this and give it to every person I'll be mentioning in this letter. This might be a bit awkward to ask, but if you are reading this, could you give this to all of them? It would mean a lot to me, really. I know that I'll be forgotten soon by everyone, and there's nothing I can do about it. It's my fate, and I've chosen to follow it.

Because I know I'll be gone forever once this is all over.

I don't have much time, so I'll get to the point. First of all, Naminé.

First, I know you never expected me to write something for you. Well, it's just that… I think we're too alike. Trapped in a prison, wanting to escape it all, doing everything we can just to see what it's like to breath freely. I know how all of it feels like. I can see it in your eyes, which always seem sad.

Please Naminé, don't do the one mistake I've done: to be used and tossed away.

You exist. That's what matters right now. Believe in yourself. One day, you'll have the life I never got to experience.

Next, Riku.

There's nothing much I can say to you actually, which is sort of awkward for me. In reality, you know me more than anyone else, maybe even more than Axel and Roxas, but that's not the point to why I'm writing to you too. What I wanted to tell you is that I'm sorry that I took your best friend away for you, and for taking the form of the girl that you once loved. I know that we settled this already but I had to apologize again. You don't know how responsible I feel for having caused you pain just by looking at me.

Hey, and maybe someday, you could learn to forgive me.

And… and then there're you two, Axel and Roxas.

I think I'll find this part the hardest to write. I'm wracking my brain just trying to sort out my thoughts and 'feelings' to what I'll tell you guys. There's so much I want to say, but I don't know where to start.

Do you two remember that day when the three of us looked at the sunset that put every other sunset we've seen to shame?

I know I know, it wouldn't matter anymore to you two since you dummies have probably forgotten me already, and probably that day too. But… I guess I wanted to thank you guys too. You guys made me feel like I had a Heart. Like there really was something within me that was beating. I remember every word each of us exchanged at the clock tower. I remember how many times we bought ice cream and how many times Axel insisted on having two bars. I remember those times when we'd talk about the beach, and even Roxas's expression when he said we should run away. I remember everything.

And that's what makes it all the more hard for me to go away.

But I have to leave. I have to disappear. I'm causing you two so much pain. Axel, with you having to deal with not turning to a Dusk, and Roxas.

Roxas, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I exist, and that I take away every ounce of energy within you. We both belong in Sora, I know that, and I know that both of us should disappear. But then a part of me insists that I should make the first move, and that it would be too soon for you to go. You were my first ever friend and you always found a way to keep me smiling, yet all I cause for you is pain. Which is why me going away is for the best. You'll truly be happy this time. Both you and Axel.

So do me a favor: Go and keep eating your ice cream with Axel. If you're both happy, then remember, somewhere out there, I'll be smiling too.

Sora. Kairi.

I want to thank you both.

It's weird actually. I thought I'd hate you both the most, in a way, but I don't. I actually admire you two. You're both the reason why I'm even writing this letter right now.

Thank you Sora. It's because of you that I even had a chance to exist, even if those times seemed too short for me to live down. You don't know how grateful I am to you for me to have met Roxas and Axel. They're both my best friends in the world, and I wouldn't have been this… 'happy' if I was never even created by your memories at all. I really hope you wake up soon. And I'll be watching you, because I'll always be a part of you in your Heart.

Thank you too Kairi, for giving Sora all those happy memories of you two together. If it weren't for you, then I might've had different feelings towards everything, and I might have even been some weird, faceless creature. I wouldn't really know. But I hope you know that I am genuinely grateful for having you as a part of me.

My name is Xion.

And I know that I may be gone, forgotten even, but I promise that I'll live on as every memory of what has been forgotten.